We measure our success by comparison and that's just foolish. We don't need to be superstar to be a superstar in our own right. However this is not the message we get from society. Society has set up rules for measuring success and if you don't measure up to their standard too bad for you. We tend to believe this since this is reinforced by not just society in general but by the closest people that surround us, like friends and family. Their mantra and maybe yours is, "You ain't nothing until you made it to the top..." Seth Godin marketing genius, whom I've been listening to lately has showed me that this is FALSE thinking and that which may have worked in the past, does not work in the current era. His work has led me to change my own paradigm for how the world works as it relates to personal/business success. The old me bought into the stereotypical thinking that most people have and I responded hook line and sinker. Society has a way of manipulating you when it comes to personal worth and it's all about putting you in your place, get you to quit, you know, the sink or swim strategy (This was the M.O. in my undergraduate days) Their motivation for thinking this way is as old as time itself: Jealousy, survival, protecting ego, eliminating competition, etc. They love to assess your standing in the world. They grade your worth. They may let you know your inferior in their eyes, not worthy to be taken seriously, don't make the grade or worse they make think you're "Great"- in which case they must crush you at all costs because now you're an even bigger threat to the world. Interesting isn't it?
With this world view, the old paradigm, most people unfortunately don't want to see you succeed. In the old system there is very little room at the top for sharing the glory of success. Those that arrive there will do everything in their power to keep you out. However this mindset also goes for people at the bottom who want to keep you from "potentially" getting to the top. In their mind, it means you have done better then they have and they will feel inadequate, pushed out. They will pooh pooh your achievements or ignore them all together. Another tactic is to squash and denigrate anything that is difficult, especially if they themselves have never attempted something as ambitious as what you are about to do. If they can minimize your goals and any subsequent achievements, they can minimize your success, try to get you to quit or better yet not start in the first place. It's an ugly tactic but a tried and true one that has worked through the ages; the worse I can make you look the better it makes me look. If I can't build my building as high as yours I can knock yours down. Here is my personal snip-it narrative below of my personal experience when I embarked on my journey to becoming an architect- Remember when reading below what I said above "it's great to get to the top but not being at the top does not mean you are not a success" (I.E-It's not about getting to the top or the next step)
(FF = Family and Friends)
Me: I want to be an ARCHITECT...
FF: You think you're architect material, do you...
Me: Since I can remember...
FF: Oh really, maybe you have desire but good luck with getting into a good college.
Me: I made it into a good college and I'm studying architecture.
FF: Oh anyone can get into a good college, good luck getting through the program...
Me: I graduated college and I'm looking for a job.
FF: Anyone can graduate from college, now try finding a job...
Me: I found a job working for an architect.
FF: Anyone can get a job working for an architect, try passing the test to get licensed.
Me: I just passed my examinations and got my license.
FF: Oh a license is no big deal, try doing something with it, now that's tough.
Me: I'm working for myself.
FF: Oh anybody can work for themselves from home, you have no office, your'e not really working for yourself.
Me: I got my new office
FF: It's not a real office you have no secretary
Me: I just hired a secretary
FF: What kind of work are you doing, you don't design anything important do you?
Me: I just did a job for a famous person.
FF: Oh that person is really not that famous.....
Sound familiar? On and on I could go. I suppose the above narrative doesn't stop until you become a Richard Meier or a Frank Gehry. Even they probably still have their detractors and critics who will minimize their achievements. As Seth said, you may not be the greatest in your field but that's not what is most important. What is important is to be the greatest you can be, connect with people, be trusted and generous. Seth also believes the old system for getting to the top is DEAD. That means nominating architects in Architectural Digest as the greatest won't be working in the future, the internet is changing all of that. The future, according to Seth will be about connecting with people, getting peoples attention through great work, trust and word of mouth. I just started listening to Seth Godin so I may be mincing his message and words so I highly recommend you pull up some Youtube videos to see exactly what his message is.
However as for me, I'm giving up on the naysayers, detractors, those that would wish me into oblivion and those who anoint others. The narrative stops here:
Me: I'm doing great work and I am happy. I will strive to do my best and touch as many people as possible.
FF: Touch who?
Me: Those that are fortunate enough to recognize my talents and me theirs.
By Lewis Portal and Dedicated to Seth Godin!
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